Forgiving and letting go of the past!

I recently stumbled upon my older sister's Facebook page and it inspired me to write this. Of course, those who know me know that I don't believe in coincedences. It dawned on me that I had not seen my older sister, Beth, for many years. As I looked at her Facebook page, I had a sense of sadness because I have not seen her nor her family in some time. We were very close at one time. Actually, she was my best friend. I always thought she understood me. Even with all the problems I seemed to get myself into...she understood me in ways other people (even myself at times) did not.
As I read over her page and looked at her family pictures, I then began to look back in retrospect as to why we didn't speak to each other anymore. Yes, I know, somewhere in our past we caused each other emotional pain. Yet, I couldn't pinpoint exactly what specific event led up to us not speaking to each other anymore. There may have been many events that may have surrounded it but the one specific event just does not come to mind. I do know her religious beliefs about homosexuality have hindered her. However, I never really understood how someone's sexuality affected her. For that matter, I am not sure how any ones sexuality affects someone else. Just knowing someone gay does not affect you as a person. I guess it falls down to condemnation. Those who have placed themselves upon pedestals and allowed themselves to believe they can accept or condemn someone else for how they may live their life. Now, I am not saying my sister had done this. I don't believe she condemned me nor could she. I know she loved me and I am sure she still does. Of course, I loved her just as much...still do! Yet, here we sit, many years have passed and we still do not speak to each other.

Most often, fear keeps people separated for many years. We think it is anger. But really, it is fear. I believe this to be the case with my sister and I. I know she is not angry with me as I am not angry with her. It is fear. I believe she fears being hurt again. She also may fear what her Christian friends may think if they knew she associated with her gay brother. For me, I feared being rejected by her again. But then, rejection brings direction. So, I place those fears aside. You see, if it had not been for my sister rejecting me, I would not be where I am today. So, the rejection was not a bad thing. It was a wonderful thing. I didn't know then what I know now. I doubt she knows the impact she has had on my life. Probably because I have not told her.

Setting all the arguments we had and all the pain we have caused each other aside, she has done more for me by letting me go than by holding on to me out of something she may have desired for my life. Again, I know she loved me. And I know her heart.

I remember one day, we were at shopping plaza when she lived the northern part of Columbus and we came upon an elderly woman who was not bathed and appeared to be very poor. She was very frail. Her hair was matted and she had a foul odor to her. Everyone stared and made odd faces when they passed her and they attempted to avoid her like she had a plague. As we were walking store we passed her. My sister stopped, without a second thought, she turned around and approached that woman and asked her if she needed food. The woman said yes and my sister gave her money and then, to my amazement, she gave her a big hug. The woman teared up and went back into the store and bought some food.

Even risking safety, my sister went to a very dangerous part of town so some children could have a Christmas. I probably could tell you story after story how my older sister inspired me. At the time, I didn't realize how she impacted my life. But I do now. Even with what I considered rejection, she impacted who I am today. What I considered rejection turned into direction. My life changed course and I ended up exactly where I needed to be. Even with all the heartache and pain we both suffered, it was meant to be. She experienced things she needed to experience and so did I.

Now, how do we heal past wounds? How can we heal broken relationships? First, we forgive and then we let it go. Let go...and let God! Novelist, E.M. Forester wrote "we must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." We must be willing to let it go. We must be willing to let go of all the hurts and heartache that we think someone else has caused us or those we caused someone else. This helps us to move on to our next experience. This helps us to love others more. This helps us to forgive. Suddenly, we judge others less and love them more. If the relationship is to be mended...God will see that it gets mended. Forgiveness isn't about the other person. It's about you. That is why it is most important you forgive yourself first. If you can't forgive yourself, how are you able to forgive others? Forgiveness releases you. If they choose not to forgive you and they choose to hold onto the past, that is entirely their decision and it does not affect you. Only what you choose or choose not to do, affects you. So, let it go and be willing to forgive.

So, this being said, I truly thank my sister Beth! Even though she may not understand this or even agree with me at this point, I know God used her to set me off on a new course in life. Everything that happened was meant to be in order to provide me with some direction.. She showed me that, no matter what someone looks like or even what they smell like, everyone deserves love and appreciation. No matter what their background is, no matter what life they choose for themselves and no matter what they may or may not have done, people deserve to be loved. No one is a lost cause.

If you have someone in your life who you used to be close with then suddenly, for some reason or another, you stopped speaking to each other, explore where you were and where you are now. Maybe, the separation started you off on a new journey. Maybe, it helped you change course and maybe, it was just meant to be. Whatever the reason, love them, be thankful for the time you had with them and let it go. It doesn't mean it is forever. Life always has a way of working out.

You are loved!
Michael

New Experiences

New Experiences

I have just finished up an assignment at a wonderful facility in Orlando Florida. For those of you who do not know, I am a travel Registered Nurse. I travel the Country working in different Emergency Departments.

Life is one experience after another. I have yet to encounter an experience in which I am not thankful for. Now, not every experience is a wonderful one. Some of the experiences have been not-so-wonderful. Some, have been downright heart wrenching. Of course, I have had some wonderful experiences as well. However, most often, we don't usually look at life this way. We move through these experiences not really knowing they are experiences in which we are to learn something new, meet someone new, or just to help someone else learn from an experience of their own. We usually go through each day without observing. We complain about the not-so-pleasant experiences and brag about the wonderful ones. Then, we usually have more not-so-great experiences to complain about. We usually only want to thank God for the "good" things in our lives even though the not-so-good things usually help shape who we are. We learn from "all" the experiences in our lives. Not just the good ones. If the not-so-great experiences help shape who we are, or help direct in a different much better direction, then why would we not be thankful for them? Even more than the great experiences in our lives.

We usually don't go through life with an awareness of this. Each day, we encounter new ideas, new people, new prospects, new love, and even new life yet we are not aware of what each and every experience we encounter means to us.

Life has meaning and every experience we encounter does as well. Life expresses itself through these experiences we encounter yet we become complacent with life and all the experiences we that go with it. Life is meant to be good. There is no doubt in my mind of this. However, it doesn't mean that we won't have not-so-pleasant experiences. It means our life is good. Period! Even the good and not-so-good things we may encounter. Life is good!

There is meaning to life itself and everything that goes along with life. Most often, life presents itself through difficult experiences. If you have an awareness to this, if you are understanding of this, then you are far more advanced than most people. You understand all of life's experiences have meaning to them. If not, I would suggest you wake up each morning and ask God to help you become more aware of each experience you encounter for that day. Then, at the end of the day, look back at each experience and write down why it is you think you may have experienced what you had. If you encounter a not-so-great situation, write it down and become aware of why it is you have experienced this. Maybe you have come down with an illness and question why life presented you with this experience. Attempt to become aware of these experiences. Maybe you have been allowing people to drain you of much needed energy by always relying on you to help them out of bad situations. If we allow others to constantly drain us of energy, we leave ourselves vulnerable to illness and crisis. Write down all of your experiences and seek to become aware of each one. This will help you to learn to be thankful for them and to understand the meaning to life itself.

Be thankful for each experience you encounter. Learn from both, the good things, and the not-so-good things and then move on.

I hope this finds each of you well.

God bless!

Second Chances

"If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down but the staying down" --Mary Pickford

How many times have we made choices we wished we had never made? How often do we focus on the mistakes we have made in life? Maybe we hurt someone or did something to cause ourselves pain. Whatever the mistake, there is always a second chance to to make new choices. We can never re-make a choice. Once a choice is made, we are stuck with it and it's consequences. However, we can change the choices we make after that. Meaning, we always have second chances to get things right if we fail to do it the first time around. However, many of us just don't want to risk taking second chances. When we fall, we don't want to get up because we fear we will just fall down again. Andrew M. Greeley wrote "We're given second chances every day of our life. We don't usually take them, but they're there for the taking." Falling down does not mean we failed...staying down does. Making poor choices in life only prepares us to make right ones. We learn from everything and anything we do. So, if you have made a poor choice and have fallen down, get up, dust yourself off and move on, a second chance awaits you.


"When you believe anything is possible...doors will open into infinite possibilities."

- Michael Merritt

Stay on course

You are looking forward to making steady progress, but it could prove to be elusive for a while longer, so don't try to fill in too many details yet. One of your current challenges is to keep your life in motion without necessarily knowing exactly where you are going. Faith in the unknown isn't easy for you, but it can smooth out your frayed edges today".

This was my horoscope some time ago. Even though, I usually do not take stock in everything I read from horoscopes, this one just seemed to speak to me. Especially, "one of the current challenges is to keep your life in motion without knowing exactly where you are going" and "faith in the unknown isn't easy for you..." How true is this? So many of us wonder if where we are right now, is actually where we are supposed to be. We wonder if the choices we made in life were correct and did we choose the right roads to travel? As I read this horoscope, it reminded me of a story some friends shared with me a couple of years ago. They, along with their child and dog, climbed up one of the mountains in the Adirondacks. Along their way, they were surrounded by beauty and they had no doubt they were on the right path. However, once they started their way down the mountain, their path became less clear as they realized they had not brought a flashlight and it was it was becoming very dark. By the time they had reached their halfway point, they could not see their own hand in front of their face. They did however, have a lighter. So, with a little lighter and a whole lot of faith, they started their decent down the final part of this mountain. Only stopping briefly to rest. All they had was a little lighter to light their way and it really only lit about a foot in front of them. Yet, with child and dog in tow, they continued they journey down this path until they reached their final destination. Psalm 119:105 (NIV) says "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path". Plainly, the headlights on our vehicles can be a great example of this passage. When you drive at night, you know your headlights only illuminate a few hundred feet in front of you. Yet, even though you can't see farther than that, it does not deter you from going where you need to go. Our life is no different. We were never promised to see the entire way, we were only promised a light for our path. Even though, we can only see what is directly in front of us and around us, we still need to continue our journey in life. We need to move forward. In faith, no matter what is going on around us or what we can or cannot see, we will get to where it is we need to go. How many of us are frustrated because we know where we should be going, yet get lost along the way? If you are anything like I was, you get lost and refuse to stop and ask for help. Well, here is a little bit of advice. Stop and ask for help! Sometimes, we just need to ask for help to get us back on the right road. This can come in the form of prayer, meditation, yoga or just asking a friend for advice. But if we don't at least ask for help when we get lost, we may never truly find our way. If you feel you are on the right road yet are getting discouraged because the road is full of potholes maybe you need to stop and rest a bit! Or, if the luggage from your past is weighing you down from getting to your destination sooner maybe you need to stop for rest and for some help! Just remember to stop just long enough to rest or get the help you need to move forward. If you stop and look around and see nothing but misery, then chances are, you have made a wrong turn somewhere and more-than-likely ended up going the wrong way. So, if this is you and you have no idea where in the hell you are right now, what do you do? Well, Winston Churchill said it perfectly. "If you are going through hell, keep going". First and foremost, keep moving forward. Recognize that you are not where you want to be and trust the Universe to guide you back to where you need to be. Do not sit there and beat yourself up for making a wrong decision or taking a wrong road. I guarentee that God won't beat you up! Nor, is there is any reason to turn around and go back and find out what went wrong and when. Remember, always move forward. In my last email, I mentioned about not having eyes in the back of heads for a reason. We are only meant to look forward in life...never backwards. The important thing is to get back on the right road. Trust on this. I can tell you if you continue to move forward you will end up exactly where you need to be. If you feel you are not where you feel you should be, understand there will be an opportunity for you to get your life back on the right path. The Universe only wants you to succeed and will ALWAYS present opportunities for this to happen. Usually, it will come in some way for you to help someone or something in need. It will come in some form of kindness from you directed towards someone or something else. It may be helping a stray dog find a new home or giving a homeless person their next meal. Or simply, giving someone that parking spot you have waited over 10 minutes to get. Whatever the case may be, recognize it as a way for you to get back on the right path.

I hope all is well and each of you are on the right road in life. If not, may this help you get back on path!

You are loved and it is all good!

Michael